Satan's Grasp on Human Conviction

I am confused, friends.

I mean, I'm generally ALWAYS confused, but this time it's a more focused confusion. I'm confused about how Christians place convictions on their brothers and sisters as a means of correcting them and leading them away from Sin.

Let me explain.

I've always understood it that Satan likes to play the guilt game. I've read several places that to feel guilty and worthless and insert-sad-adjective-here is to give in to Satan's will. He wants you to feel crappy for what you've done, what you do, your turning your back on God. He wants this because maybe it will drive you to think God feels the same way, that God will turn you away because you keep cheating on Him, so to speak.

Cussing has become a huge part of human vocabulary. We just hate people so much that we made up bad-sounding words to throw at them. Now, not all cussing is necessarily defamatory or aimed at the faults of a person or thing. Much of what's uttered nowadays is done so trivially, as if it's simply a new form of slang, only the kind you can get in trouble for saying to your boss or teacher.

I personally try not to cuss (or swear, or whatever you want to call it). I think the origins of how cussing came about is wrong, I don't want offend anyone with it, and I believe it shows a downright small vocabulary (there are better words for "bad stuff that happens to me" or meaningless, empty adjectives that end in "ck"). However, I don't really mind, by and large, if someone else cusses. I work with high school teens, and I find it so funny when they catch themselves cussing in front of me, and immediately apologize. I really don't care. I don't necessarily enjoy hearing the words, and if they come out of a long-standing Christian friend's mouth who, too, thought cussing was wrong, then I'd be a little flabbergasted.

I don't listen to bands who cuss. Or at least, not much. I get a little disappointed in Christian bands who say they proclaim the name of Christ and represent Him on-stage, and then proceed to drop f-bombs and write horrible lyrics, but I think that's mainly because of my personal conviction. I feel that would be a bad reputation for Christ.

But to force such a personal conviction on others...I don't know if that's right. I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller - stellar book by one of the most brilliantly similar minds I've ever encountered, by the way - and he talks about his pastor-friend who cusses in church. He has other friends and such who do the same, and he even mentions he'd play video games with one of his roommates, shouting profanities in the air. It's quite funny that he just lets it slip, when I have this history of conviction that, for the longest time, has told me that cussing is wrong.

Don't get me wrong, here. I do believe we are called to turn our fellow Christians from Sin when we witness them faltering, but I don't know how to without guilt-tripping the person. After all, guilt-tripping is what Satan does, remember?

So how do you do it? I've been guilt-tripped numerous times by mentors, parents, teachers, brothers and sisters, any slew of nonbelievers you can imagine, and even little kids. The intent is usually the same, to prevent me from doing something they believe is sinful (exception being non-believers who just want you to see your idiocy). But who are we to say what's right or wrong? I mean, sure, we have the Bible. It has certain rules that are set out and generally easy to follow, but what about all the stuff that isn't quite clear? The only thing in the Bible about cussing that I can think of are two parts: one being the obvious "don't take the LORD's name in vain" and the other being romans 12.2 (don't conform to the patterns of this world...including it's language paradigm).

I realize I've been mentioning this cussing deal a lot, but it's mainly because it's something that affects me everyday. I just want to know how to go about with it. To say to somebody that their use of language is wrong, is judging them, which the Bible also teaches against.

I suppose the only way to do it would be suggesting alternative pathways to the current ones people go through. But even those would have to be somewhat subtle.

I just don't get it. I want to say that Christians shouldn't cuss, but the Bible doesn't. At least not clearly. I want to help people from their Sin, but how can I without emulating the devil's ways of guilt? I want to say a band isn't representing God well if they cuss on-stage or whatever. But I don't think I should. It's not my job.

It's a delicate balance, as is a lot of other things involved in Christian living. I was talking earlier today to a friend about whether or not to care what other people think of you. I'm torn here as well. The Bible says to be agreeable to everyone so as not to stir up dissent, but it also talks about pleasing God and God alone.

Sorry if this is all a big mess of thoughts to you. I haven't written in awhile, and school is melting my brain enough as it is, so I thought I'd get some stuff down before I forget it.

I would love to hear your ideas about this stuff, or other confusions you face with Christian living. Feel free to email me, or comment this beastly work of mental vomit.

As always, thanks for reading. I hope to get some more stuff written throughout the rest of the year, provided school doesn't make my cranium a vacant expanse of nothingness.

~@othern.

Disappearance (song)

Here 'tis:

I wish to hide the world
or just my face
a black market for me
to sell my soul to the highest bidder


such a disgrace, such a disgrace
how could you? how could you?
Oh the longing, all the needing
I need to disappear


all I am is a stain
out of place, I don't belong
a false positive influence
I won't lie, but I lie well
I never love, and fear I never will


such a disgrace, such a disgrace
how could you? how could you?
love me like You do?
oh the holding, all the healing
I need to disappear

so You can show Yourself
I'm not alone in this deception
we need You, we all do
we all do

© @othern 2009.

Slander (Song)

hooray. it seems my writing of late has been pretty similar. Not to the point I'm worried, but it just appears It's primary focus is a depreciation for humanity within the protagonist, and desperation for God to play the shining knight role. Regardless, it's done and written. Enjoy.

It would be a lie to say
I love you with all of me
Because, well, see
I can't handle myself

I don't submit to authorities
That promise tomorrow, not today
Impatience, it seems, runs deep
it's roots the veins stemming from my heart

How I wish You would free me
Rip the life out of this
Wooden travesty, limb from limb
Limb from limb

Set me ablaze, oh blacksmith
Make clarity the goal
Refine the goodness within...
Reveal Yourself within me!

© @othern 2009.

District 9 and Sleepy Memorials

Okay, I haven't posted something like this in awhile (I guess my testimonial is kinda like it, but I digress). I had a helluva two days yesterday. Also, there might be some sorta spoilers for the film District 9. Not entirely, as I won't spell out anything from the movie, but there are general ideas not conveyed in the trailers that I discuss. It won't give anything major away I think, but if you'd rather not read this until seeing the movie, I won't feel bad.

The whole thing involved me doing an all-nighter to get back on track sleep-wise for school and to get my car fixed later this week. My buddy Logan is moving, and needed help, so myself and another friend went to help him yesterday (moving whilst dreadfully tired is always a treat). So we moved some stuff, y'know, the usual moving type deal. The whole time, I've been listening to some Demon Hunter and Relient K, two of my all-time favorite bands that I hadn't really given the time of day for the past year or so due to certain circumstances of the past (see testimony for details).

It was pretty neat (wow, I sound like a nerd) to have such a cathartic experience simply by listening to some music I hadn't heard in awhile. And the contrast of the two is quite astounding, given that Relient K is like pop punk acoustic and Demon Hunter being pretty stinkin' metal. But hey, I'm a weird guy.

Anyway, it was just kind of nice being reminded of some things of the past. Not all the memories were good, but the recollection was. It's an amazing thing how emotion can tie itself to musical memory. I think it's one reason I love music so much. It can evoke the most vivid memories, and create new ones without us even realizing it.

So yeah. As part of our hanging out, we remembered that District 9 came out yesterday, and were super stoked to see it. We also had some movie passes that were usable on new releases before 6pm. So we went and saw District 9. I loved it. Here's why.

I loved District 9 for several reasons. First of all, it's a totally unique film. They combine documentary footage with cinematic action and story to make an all-around great movie. I wouldn't be surprised if it won an award for cinematography, honestly. Second, they make the human race out to be bad guys. I love that.

You might wonder why I love that, but really, it makes sense if you understand my beliefs and my relationship with Christ. I have a strong opposition to that which makes us human, namely the human nature (sinful nature. ring a bell?). It was very ironic that this movie points out that what makes us human is this evil desire to have control, to have all the power, doing whatever it takes to get it, even if it means betraying and harming another.

I find it funny that I related most to the oppressed in the film. Not because it's backwards, but because that's so spot-on. It lets me know I'm doing a good job in the world. If you feel completely comfortable in this world as a Christian (and by Christian I mean one who loves Jesus as Savior, who has a personal relationship with him, not the religion), then you're not doing well.

That's another thing. The aliens in the film know they don't belong there, innately so. Hence the term alienated. They clearly miss their home and desire to go back. I feel this way a lot.

I think another major point that I love about it is the underlying theme of love that you only really pick up on later on in the film. I mean, you take love however you wish to prescribe to the word, but there's some major love themes in this film that I picked up on. It's almost eery how this movie in general follows along with Christian themes.

I don't know. I just really enjoyed the movie. It was well-made, and I felt refreshed almost after watching it. I seriously suggest it to anyone who hasn't seen it. There's something in it for every person.

I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and might be commenting on his stuff again soon. No idea yet. Speaking of comments, if you have any, let me know!

Until next time,

~@othern

Infested (Song)

It's been awhile since I wrote a song. Hope this one doesn't let you down!

oh what a filthy wretch am I
how quickly I forfeit
control over what little
I have stake in


don't tell me I'm a good man
you're wrong! you're wrong!
don't say I'll pull through this
It's too strong, too strong!


I want it back, wanna do it right
but all I see is black and red
flooded images of depravity and
horror; I can't stand it


don't tell me I'm a good man
you're wrong! you're wrong!
don't say I'll pull through this
it's too strong, too strong!

I gave myself to nothing right
and in such vanity, I just might
lose it all; it's just too far a fall


oh God, I need some light
something to purge this parasite
I wish I may, I wish I might
be Yours once more tonight

© @othern 2009.