I am confused, friends.
I mean, I'm generally ALWAYS confused, but this time it's a more focused confusion. I'm confused about how Christians place convictions on their brothers and sisters as a means of correcting them and leading them away from Sin.
Let me explain.
I've always understood it that Satan likes to play the guilt game. I've read several places that to feel guilty and worthless and insert-sad-adjective-here is to give in to Satan's will. He wants you to feel crappy for what you've done, what you do, your turning your back on God. He wants this because maybe it will drive you to think God feels the same way, that God will turn you away because you keep cheating on Him, so to speak.
Cussing has become a huge part of human vocabulary. We just hate people so much that we made up bad-sounding words to throw at them. Now, not all cussing is necessarily defamatory or aimed at the faults of a person or thing. Much of what's uttered nowadays is done so trivially, as if it's simply a new form of slang, only the kind you can get in trouble for saying to your boss or teacher.
I personally try not to cuss (or swear, or whatever you want to call it). I think the origins of how cussing came about is wrong, I don't want offend anyone with it, and I believe it shows a downright small vocabulary (there are better words for "bad stuff that happens to me" or meaningless, empty adjectives that end in "ck"). However, I don't really mind, by and large, if someone else cusses. I work with high school teens, and I find it so funny when they catch themselves cussing in front of me, and immediately apologize. I really don't care. I don't necessarily enjoy hearing the words, and if they come out of a long-standing Christian friend's mouth who, too, thought cussing was wrong, then I'd be a little flabbergasted.
I don't listen to bands who cuss. Or at least, not much. I get a little disappointed in Christian bands who say they proclaim the name of Christ and represent Him on-stage, and then proceed to drop f-bombs and write horrible lyrics, but I think that's mainly because of my personal conviction. I feel that would be a bad reputation for Christ.
But to force such a personal conviction on others...I don't know if that's right. I've been reading
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller - stellar book by one of the most brilliantly similar minds I've ever encountered, by the way - and he talks about his pastor-friend who cusses in church. He has other friends and such who do the same, and he even mentions he'd play video games with one of his roommates, shouting profanities in the air. It's quite funny that he just lets it slip, when I have this history of conviction that, for the longest time, has told me that cussing is wrong.
Don't get me wrong, here. I do believe we are called to turn our fellow Christians from Sin when we witness them faltering, but I don't know how to without guilt-tripping the person. After all, guilt-tripping is what Satan does, remember?
So how do you do it? I've been guilt-tripped numerous times by mentors, parents, teachers, brothers and sisters, any slew of nonbelievers you can imagine, and even little kids. The intent is usually the same, to prevent me from doing something they believe is sinful (exception being non-believers who just want you to see your idiocy). But who are we to say what's right or wrong? I mean, sure, we have the Bible. It has certain rules that are set out and generally easy to follow, but what about all the stuff that isn't quite clear? The only thing in the Bible about cussing that I can think of are two parts: one being the obvious "don't take the LORD's name in vain" and the other being romans 12.2 (don't conform to the patterns of this world...including it's language paradigm).
I realize I've been mentioning this cussing deal a lot, but it's mainly because it's something that affects me everyday. I just want to know how to go about with it. To say to somebody that their use of language is wrong, is judging them, which the Bible also teaches against.
I suppose the only way to do it would be suggesting alternative pathways to the current ones people go through. But even those would have to be somewhat subtle.
I just don't get it. I want to say that Christians shouldn't cuss, but the Bible doesn't. At least not clearly. I want to help people from their Sin, but how can I without emulating the devil's ways of guilt? I want to say a band isn't representing God well if they cuss on-stage or whatever. But I don't think I should. It's not my job.
It's a delicate balance, as is a lot of other things involved in Christian living. I was talking earlier today to a friend about whether or not to care what other people think of you. I'm torn here as well. The Bible says to be agreeable to everyone so as not to stir up dissent, but it also talks about pleasing God and God alone.
Sorry if this is all a big mess of thoughts to you. I haven't written in awhile, and school is melting my brain enough as it is, so I thought I'd get some stuff down before I forget it.
I would love to hear your ideas about this stuff, or other confusions you face with Christian living. Feel free to email me, or comment this beastly work of mental vomit.
As always, thanks for reading. I hope to get some more stuff written throughout the rest of the year, provided school doesn't make my cranium a vacant expanse of nothingness.
~@othern.
