Love Letter Idolatry

Okay, so I'm sorry it's been forever since I've written anything. School's been kicking me around for a while, and with YL in full swing now, my free time is pretty much reserved for sleeping and pooping/reading. Well, I do have another project that I've started: I'm now going through my music library album by album (by band) listening and reading the lyrics as I go. I then catalog my favorite lyric snippets into a list. I have the first part (including Sleeping Giant and Oh, Sleeper's two albums each) on my facebook, and I can migrate it over here if you'd like to read it - just let me know.

So that isn't really the purpose I had in mind for this entry, but I wanted to give you a small update. Get ready for some good old new-thinking rant =)

My latest funk has been with the idea of ministry being a set in stone format. The main issue is basically that a lot of the now-elders of the faith have decided to take everything so freaking literally that they honestly believe there is only one thing that works. The basic issue I'm getting to is that I don't think the Bible is everything.

Now before you grab your pitchforks and chase me out of town, know that I read the Bible everyday and accept it as truth and the Word of God Himself. But also know that I don't think the Bible is the key to salvation. If it were the hinge of this "religious ideal", then how would people who never had access to a Bible or at least one in their language be saved?

I listen to a lot of Christian hardcore/metal music, as you probably know. One of my favorite bands is Sleeping Giant. I love them because they do what I yearn so very much to, which is minister to lost souls with their music. One thing in particular that I find very fascinating is they take a very wary stance amongst "The Church" (as we are so apt to call "it" these days). A small side note - you might want to go back and read my blog about what I believe church to be to fully grasp my ideas here.

A particular set of lyrics strike me from a couple of their songs, the first being "Blame It On The Holy Rollers". The idea here that they make is that they're tired of being judged for who they are, something "The Church" I think STILL has problems with (luckily, not nearly as much where I'm at). They also write about this "Sunday School mindset" and "play(ing) church". These really kind of hit home for me, because I think a lot of "The Church" seem complacent and basically stagnant in the faith, not sure where to turn next.

This takes me to my next idea of the Bible. Again, I'm not bashing it in any way, and I read it daily because I find it helps me renew my mind (Romans 12). It seems there is way too much emphasis on this book. I understand it's the Word of God, and it's useful for teaching, rebuke, reproof, etc. But if the Bible was all that was needed, why would "The Church" even exist?

Something else I feel I should say is that I teach from the Bible myself. I don't think it wrong to use the Bible in many situations. I just think we get so caught up in the "thees" and "thous" and lose sight of the true God. I mean, the Bible is just His love letter to us. Would you honestly say that a love letter is the most important thing in a relationship? I wouldn't.

I have a feeling you're going to want to quote John 1 to me now. You know, this little bit:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1.1)

I get it. You think that the Bible is the incarnate of Jesus, or something like that. But don't you understand that if you become a Christian, Jesus resides in you! He doesn't need a book to tell us how to live right, to explain Himself. Granted, it seems He chooses to most often (insert Hebrews 1 reference here), but that doesn't mean He won't talk to you through anything else. I've got stories of how I've been spoken to by God without the words on the page.

I get a bit depressed seeing this go on, this literalness. It translates into people becoming dead-set on one single method that's worked before and just gets frustrating, because you start to think that just because that method has worked in the past, it'll work forever. It could, certainly, as God is timeless and His ways are mysterious, even to the point of repetition. However, do you really think people like this don't love Jesus with all their heart? These are my heroes!

I guess all I'm really trying to say is this: those of you who think you're the shiz, who think you have it all together and you've got the "proper" way to "be a Christian", let me say that the ONLY thing that's required is to worship our Lord. How we do so is irrelevant (so long as it's not obviously sinful and, well, retarded). Yes, we are called to go and make disciples, but guess what? THIS IS WORSHIP!

And I choose to worship differently from you. That doesn't make me any less loved and lovely. Theology is great. But it's personal. Leave it at that, and I swear, if you push your beliefs, you come across as a bent salesman, trying to sell the latest God model.

STOP SELLING! Start loving. (yay for soap box moments)

This probably (as my writing tends to do) jumps around and probably leaves a lot of my thoughts out (it's damn near impossible to get it all down at the speed I think). So if you find yourself lost and want me to explain it better, let me know. I'd be happy to get coffee or something with you (if you're in the area, anyway) or just email you about it.

Also, I'm praying over a confessions list I want to write and make public, but I don't know if it's the right thing to do right now, but I want to make it known that people are not alone in their struggles.

Anyway, I love you guys, wherever you may be.

~@othern

I Have A Dreamsicle (Song)

Okay, so here's the deal, folks. I have been listening a LOT to Owl City (Relient K has been a strong influence here as well). So this song is written in a very artsy fartsy rhyming fashion, similarly paced to an Owl City song (in my head). While the parts at first seemed very dissonant (aka, not meshing), I think I worked it out well enough that I like how it sits altogether. So enjoy.

all the shallow girls
leave their hearts on the shore
hoping that the waves will leave pain replete
and the ones with unmet dreams
don't cry anymore
for their struggles are buried six feet deep

so sleep,
let the winds take your hand
feel the beat
from the smooth ocean sands
all the glaciers will melt
from the warmth we have felt
when we're together...

but when you wake up
you wanna run from the fear
just like your makeup
streams of black from your tears

but when the sobs have died down
and your eyes stop drowning
if you could only see
the overbearing joy in me
just from you hearing my name
on your lips

my heart is doing backflips
as you walk on by
and then the dream slowly slips away
i can't help but sigh
and hope for a new day

© @othern 2009.

We is Imperfect

So uhhh....hi. It's been awhile. Sorry about that =/

It seems that school saw fit to vomit nonstop on me the entire month of October. Now, I'm not saying that college is supposed to be a breeze and we shouldn't have to ever struggle, but geez. I mean GEEZ. I'm talkin' multiple projects and papers due every week, 70+ pages of reading every week, and at least three other various time-consuming assignments on top of that.

And apparently God decided to teach me a lesson (that which I have not yet figured out) last week. It was my "midterm week." I only really had one midterm, but I had about four other major tests or projects/papers due this past week. The kicker? I've been sick for just over a week now with what appears to be pneumonia. It's not like I'm bedridden (obviously, I can't just ignore midterms), but it's been a real jerk.

Anyway, that's my excuse for not writing in so long. I apologize for those of you that read this (even myself). I also apologize that this particular blog isn't going to be super duper awesome. There aren't going to be any new song lyrics, and I'm only lightly touching on some stuff from a few weeks ago that I've read or heard or thought. So let's do that.

Hobey ho, let's go! (Pendragon pun. I don't expect you to get it)

First off, I feel I should update you on my music. I have officially fallen in love with Owl City. Something ethereal about it forces a smile just about every time I listen to it. My friend has also discovered trance techno, and has hooked me on some podcasts. I prefer happy hardcore techno, but trance is good too.

Also, I recently picked up the new blessthefall and Relient K albums. Both are truly amazing, though I've leaned towards Relient K and I'll tell you why. I've been mellowing out my musical choices this cold-weather season. Methinks it's due to the fact that I always get this overbearing sense of melancholy around this time of year. My only guess is that it's a subconscious revival of my 2007 throwdown (see earlier blogs for more information).

Anyway, Forget and Not Slow Down, Relient K's newest, is really kind of sad. The idea behind the album is that Matthew Thiessen was engaged and something happened - I won't speculate - and they broke up, and this album pretty much sums up Thiessen's emotional and spiritual responses to the situation. It's super good though, I suggest you pick it up. Witness via blessthefall is also good, but I have my reservations because of some controversial lyrics in a song. I won't go into details.

Alright, what to talk about next...well, I haven't written any lyrics in a while. The last song I wrote is the last blog (sadness). I have, however, read some Mere Christianity a la C.S. Lewis. I'm about half way through it, this being my second go at it, and I still am picking up so much new stuff that I hadn't caught when I first read it. It appears that Lewis does this a lot. Mr. Enigmatic.

I read the section on Christian sex and marriage, and I think I wanna expound upon some of it.

Here's a quote from the sex chapter:

The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the
least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the
pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronising
and spoiling sport, and back-biting; the pleasures of power, of hatred.

The reason I quoted this is because it raised in my mind this idea of sin ranking, or inequality. In my various Bible studies throughout the week, I've come across this idea of sins being of differing severity. Let me first explain that I have always believed that all sins are of equal value in regards to "how evil" it is, so to speak. However, recently there was a portion of my college group in which we talked about some sins being worse than others. The question was posed about the "Unforgivable Sin", which we came to agree upon as the complete and utter rejection of Jesus and His message in the presence of Jesus Himself. Matthew speaks about it being blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and it basically is. The true meaning, we came to agree, is that the "Unforgivable Sin" was actually aimed at the Pharisees who, despite the numerous miracles Jesus performed just about daily, refused to believe Jesus, and accredited His works to Satan. Makes sense why they would not be forgiven for that, considering they had a bajillion chances to repent and give in, but they were so foolhardy that they just killed Him.

Now, this idea carries on to modern times in that the "Unforgivable Sin" can still be committed. But by whom? Certainly not Christians, because a "true Christian" would never denounce the framework of their faith. It falls, then, to the nonbeliever. And I think God is pretty lenient on this. I don't mean He'll let it slide or whatever, but the "requirements" for this sin are pretty hardcore. From my understanding, you have to have openly heard and seen and come to understand the basis of the Gospel, and turned it down to follow your own pursuits. Possibly even multiple times. What's funny is, I don't think God would turn these people down if they ever did repent, even on their deathbed. I think the sin refers only to those who never would repent. After all, He is God. He can see down the road who will do what.

This in mind, I heard not too long after from my Young Life study that sins are not equal in magnitude, that some are "worse" than others. I don't really think this true, with the exception of that mentioned above, simply because God cannot forgive us if we don't let Him. But aside from that, who is to say lying is less evil than, say, adultery? Both are deceptive, and both can severely damage relationships. I can agree that some sins carry more baggage than others. For instance, having an affair that ends in divorce is obviously a harsher consequence than lying to your spouse about how they look. The same goes for murder. If you kill someone, the consequences are much higher (realtime consequences, mind you) - prison, execution, a guilty conscience, etc. So if that is where we draw the line on inequality that's fine. But what do you think?

Anyway, the next bit from Lewis was about Christian marriage. If you know me at all, you may have found me a bit obsessed with marriage and this idea of romantic love (well, really all kinds of love, as romantic love only gets you so far). So this chapter truly appealed to me. Some noteworthy quotes below:

If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps
better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make
vows they do not mean to keep... one
fault is not mended by adding another.

The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in
love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits one to being true
even if I cease to be in love.

A promise must be about things that I can do,
about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way.

Quick LOL for ^this^ one. Irony.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. You
cannot make it the basis of a whole life.

There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the
State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church
with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be
quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian
sense and which are not.

This last quote intrigued me. I think it mainly hits home since gay marriage is all the rage right now. And honestly, I support it. Why? Because - and make sure you read this slowly and understand it - people who are not Christian should not be held to Christian standards. I know some of you will be like OMGWTFBBQ, but hear me out.

First of all, Christians have an astounding framework of support surrounding them, and the infinite source of strength itself (Jesus). Marriage is hard, no doubt. A lot of what Jesus calls us to is hard. If it were easy, we would never need to lean on Him for strength and hope and love and peace. If things were a stroll in the park, we'd have no need for the Holy Spirit. Honestly ask yourself, if things were never hard ever, would you truly pray still? Would you be in fellowship with likeminded people on Sunday mornings when you would rather have slept in? Would you even pick up the Bible?

I think I can say I would not. I mean, I have never felt that life was too good for God. And I'm glad for that.

That being said, how can we expect people without this massive support to go on upholding these "morals" that a) they don't believe in and b) are wicked hard to keep up without God? I'm not saying God is never with you ever if you don't believe in Him, because I don't think that's true. But I do know that trusting in Him is a major key to this. And how can you trust that which you do not believe in? Seems pretty impossible to me.

That's what I love about C.S. Lewis. He really gets me thinking about real issues and areas of contemplation I think I'd never have stumbled into otherwise.

Well, that's just about all I have to say right now. I'll plug some links real quick though and be on my way.

Here you'll find my uncle's sermons in .mp3 format. He's a brilliant teacher, and one of my favorite people.

Jon Shanahan is a great friend I found in New York on Summer Staff this year. He does these silly vlogs that update me on his life. I enjoy them. You should too.

That's about it, folks.

Thanks for reading! And if you would like to pray for me, please pray for healing, my musical pursuits, and Young Life. Thank you!

love love lovelovelovelove,

~@