We is Imperfect

So uhhh....hi. It's been awhile. Sorry about that =/

It seems that school saw fit to vomit nonstop on me the entire month of October. Now, I'm not saying that college is supposed to be a breeze and we shouldn't have to ever struggle, but geez. I mean GEEZ. I'm talkin' multiple projects and papers due every week, 70+ pages of reading every week, and at least three other various time-consuming assignments on top of that.

And apparently God decided to teach me a lesson (that which I have not yet figured out) last week. It was my "midterm week." I only really had one midterm, but I had about four other major tests or projects/papers due this past week. The kicker? I've been sick for just over a week now with what appears to be pneumonia. It's not like I'm bedridden (obviously, I can't just ignore midterms), but it's been a real jerk.

Anyway, that's my excuse for not writing in so long. I apologize for those of you that read this (even myself). I also apologize that this particular blog isn't going to be super duper awesome. There aren't going to be any new song lyrics, and I'm only lightly touching on some stuff from a few weeks ago that I've read or heard or thought. So let's do that.

Hobey ho, let's go! (Pendragon pun. I don't expect you to get it)

First off, I feel I should update you on my music. I have officially fallen in love with Owl City. Something ethereal about it forces a smile just about every time I listen to it. My friend has also discovered trance techno, and has hooked me on some podcasts. I prefer happy hardcore techno, but trance is good too.

Also, I recently picked up the new blessthefall and Relient K albums. Both are truly amazing, though I've leaned towards Relient K and I'll tell you why. I've been mellowing out my musical choices this cold-weather season. Methinks it's due to the fact that I always get this overbearing sense of melancholy around this time of year. My only guess is that it's a subconscious revival of my 2007 throwdown (see earlier blogs for more information).

Anyway, Forget and Not Slow Down, Relient K's newest, is really kind of sad. The idea behind the album is that Matthew Thiessen was engaged and something happened - I won't speculate - and they broke up, and this album pretty much sums up Thiessen's emotional and spiritual responses to the situation. It's super good though, I suggest you pick it up. Witness via blessthefall is also good, but I have my reservations because of some controversial lyrics in a song. I won't go into details.

Alright, what to talk about next...well, I haven't written any lyrics in a while. The last song I wrote is the last blog (sadness). I have, however, read some Mere Christianity a la C.S. Lewis. I'm about half way through it, this being my second go at it, and I still am picking up so much new stuff that I hadn't caught when I first read it. It appears that Lewis does this a lot. Mr. Enigmatic.

I read the section on Christian sex and marriage, and I think I wanna expound upon some of it.

Here's a quote from the sex chapter:

The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the
least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the
pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronising
and spoiling sport, and back-biting; the pleasures of power, of hatred.

The reason I quoted this is because it raised in my mind this idea of sin ranking, or inequality. In my various Bible studies throughout the week, I've come across this idea of sins being of differing severity. Let me first explain that I have always believed that all sins are of equal value in regards to "how evil" it is, so to speak. However, recently there was a portion of my college group in which we talked about some sins being worse than others. The question was posed about the "Unforgivable Sin", which we came to agree upon as the complete and utter rejection of Jesus and His message in the presence of Jesus Himself. Matthew speaks about it being blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and it basically is. The true meaning, we came to agree, is that the "Unforgivable Sin" was actually aimed at the Pharisees who, despite the numerous miracles Jesus performed just about daily, refused to believe Jesus, and accredited His works to Satan. Makes sense why they would not be forgiven for that, considering they had a bajillion chances to repent and give in, but they were so foolhardy that they just killed Him.

Now, this idea carries on to modern times in that the "Unforgivable Sin" can still be committed. But by whom? Certainly not Christians, because a "true Christian" would never denounce the framework of their faith. It falls, then, to the nonbeliever. And I think God is pretty lenient on this. I don't mean He'll let it slide or whatever, but the "requirements" for this sin are pretty hardcore. From my understanding, you have to have openly heard and seen and come to understand the basis of the Gospel, and turned it down to follow your own pursuits. Possibly even multiple times. What's funny is, I don't think God would turn these people down if they ever did repent, even on their deathbed. I think the sin refers only to those who never would repent. After all, He is God. He can see down the road who will do what.

This in mind, I heard not too long after from my Young Life study that sins are not equal in magnitude, that some are "worse" than others. I don't really think this true, with the exception of that mentioned above, simply because God cannot forgive us if we don't let Him. But aside from that, who is to say lying is less evil than, say, adultery? Both are deceptive, and both can severely damage relationships. I can agree that some sins carry more baggage than others. For instance, having an affair that ends in divorce is obviously a harsher consequence than lying to your spouse about how they look. The same goes for murder. If you kill someone, the consequences are much higher (realtime consequences, mind you) - prison, execution, a guilty conscience, etc. So if that is where we draw the line on inequality that's fine. But what do you think?

Anyway, the next bit from Lewis was about Christian marriage. If you know me at all, you may have found me a bit obsessed with marriage and this idea of romantic love (well, really all kinds of love, as romantic love only gets you so far). So this chapter truly appealed to me. Some noteworthy quotes below:

If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps
better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make
vows they do not mean to keep... one
fault is not mended by adding another.

The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in
love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits one to being true
even if I cease to be in love.

A promise must be about things that I can do,
about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way.

Quick LOL for ^this^ one. Irony.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. You
cannot make it the basis of a whole life.

There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the
State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church
with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be
quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian
sense and which are not.

This last quote intrigued me. I think it mainly hits home since gay marriage is all the rage right now. And honestly, I support it. Why? Because - and make sure you read this slowly and understand it - people who are not Christian should not be held to Christian standards. I know some of you will be like OMGWTFBBQ, but hear me out.

First of all, Christians have an astounding framework of support surrounding them, and the infinite source of strength itself (Jesus). Marriage is hard, no doubt. A lot of what Jesus calls us to is hard. If it were easy, we would never need to lean on Him for strength and hope and love and peace. If things were a stroll in the park, we'd have no need for the Holy Spirit. Honestly ask yourself, if things were never hard ever, would you truly pray still? Would you be in fellowship with likeminded people on Sunday mornings when you would rather have slept in? Would you even pick up the Bible?

I think I can say I would not. I mean, I have never felt that life was too good for God. And I'm glad for that.

That being said, how can we expect people without this massive support to go on upholding these "morals" that a) they don't believe in and b) are wicked hard to keep up without God? I'm not saying God is never with you ever if you don't believe in Him, because I don't think that's true. But I do know that trusting in Him is a major key to this. And how can you trust that which you do not believe in? Seems pretty impossible to me.

That's what I love about C.S. Lewis. He really gets me thinking about real issues and areas of contemplation I think I'd never have stumbled into otherwise.

Well, that's just about all I have to say right now. I'll plug some links real quick though and be on my way.

Here you'll find my uncle's sermons in .mp3 format. He's a brilliant teacher, and one of my favorite people.

Jon Shanahan is a great friend I found in New York on Summer Staff this year. He does these silly vlogs that update me on his life. I enjoy them. You should too.

That's about it, folks.

Thanks for reading! And if you would like to pray for me, please pray for healing, my musical pursuits, and Young Life. Thank you!

love love lovelovelovelove,

~@