Reflections in the Sand

This blog will probably be pretty lame. I'm only writing because I felt like I needed to write, but honestly have little to say. I don't have any new lyrics written to post yet. I'm kinda hoping for some more inspiration for that. I'm also looking for inspiration on other things to write, like my older blogs that weren't lyrical, or a book.

Yes, I do want to write a book. I just don't know what to write it about. I don't even think I could stretch my life to fit more than maybe 60 pages. Then again, I've got a lot of growing to do still.

I don't know. I was reading my super old blogs (before I even made this one) on myspace, and I'm kind of shocked. I was a whiny, selfish emo-brat. Like, seriously. Look at some of the crap I wrote:

I wonder what your heart sings.
I wonder how mine is doing.
I wonder why I love you. Then again, no I don’t. I know why.

WHY are people listening but not hearing?
WHY do I wish I could do nothing but cry for the rest of my life?

All I wanted was to fix it, so why am I breaking instead?

From the tattered fringes of the broken heart flows the ceaseless love, unbound...

LAME! Granted, I was going through probably the hardest part of my life thus far, and even so the writing, albeit annoying and complain-ridden, is quite well-done. Yes, I know. I'm a weird guy.

It's funny, because reading this stuff kinda put me back in that mindset for awhile. No, not the super emo crybaby crap, but the mindset of the whole situation. Now, I know I'm crazy, but I think it could be coming back. Hopefully not the sucky parts, but I feel God moving me somehow. Like, I can totally relate to this, which I wrote way back when:

I’m tired of dormantly chasing after something it seems I’ll never catch.

Shoot-dang. I totally nailed it back then, aye? Aye indeed. Life is a mystery...

Anyway, I also found some old poetry/songs that I never transferred here, so I may be doing that soon, to give you a taste of my progress through the past few years. Figure that could be fun.

Oh, another thing I wanted to tell you is that I've been recently practicing my vocals a lot, and even recorded some (not-so-great) covers during my practice a couple days ago. Only problem is, I can't find my firewire cable to transfer the videos onto my computer. But rest assured, when I do find it, I'll throw em up on youtube or something and if nothing else post a link to them here, so you can get a feel for what I do (even though right now I'm not doing so great haha).

Interesting side-note/story: I have a college-age bible study group Wednesday nights that I attend at my friend's church. So tonight, we were reading the story from Luke 19 about the master who entrusted his servants with his money, and expected them to turn it for profit. I won't detail the whole story for the sake of my slaughtering of the Bible, but what really kind of struck me is our leader-dude Troy decided to do a little exercise where we went around the room and mentioned something we loved to do and had some talent for. I said singing, naturally. Troy then said at the end that we should use what God has given us as passions and talents to turn a profit for His kingdom. It was just a nice reminder from God to me about this band thing I wanna do. I've been getting discouraged because my screaming is still not great, but I think He just wanted to reassure me tonight with that, and I'm thankful for it. So yeah.

I also added a widget to the right (--> that way -->) where you can talk to me anonymously. It's pretty neat. So feel free to use that if you want to say something and not be known, or even if you want to ask me about something. As I've said before, I'm totally down to talk about nearly anything. I may even write a blog explaining my take on certain things if you'd like.


And I know I say this a lot, but I really do love you few who actually read my crap. I write for many reasons, but one I love is to try and be a blessing to you somehow. I'd like to think that my writing could give you peace on certain things, move you somehow, or help you hear God's call for your life. So thank you, whoever you are, for allowing me to be a part of your life, no matter how small.

If you'd like for me to write about something, maybe something you're going through or are having trouble figuring out, or maybe would like to know how I dealt with certain issues, be sure to let me know. My hope is to be a servant with this blog first, and a showcase of my writing and thoughts and self second.


On that note, I think I'll try and get some sleep before a hike with some friends tomorrow (woo). I hope God has been using me to help you somehow! And if He hasn't, take some initiative and talk to me!!

lovelovelovelovelove,

~@